". . . Step Two gently and very gradually began to infiltrate my life. I can't say upon what occasion or upon what day I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, but I certainly have that belief now." TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 27
The words gently, gradually and infiltrate describe how I came to believe. Raymond, my sponsor, did not force any preconceived ideas of God, loving, fearful or vengeful, on me. Rather he gently explained that if I could not control the direction a stream flowed I had to admit that there was a power, commonly called gravity, more powerful than me.
I agreed to take the steps, guided by him, as an act of faith. I did not need to believe that gravity would save me, let alone that there was a God, to acknowledge that millions before me had recovered this way. I was a mess. My best thinking had got me to where I was. So I opened my mind to the possibility that listening to what they did could give me what they had.
After 3 months my first act of faith had produced results. I was still sober. I had belief that the program worked. I committed further, in faith to complete step 4 and 5. For three years I walked by faith, I reflected objectively on the results, and I came to believe. My gravity, was upgraded to the sun, moon and stars. My Higher Power became God as We Understood Him. My wish lists became a Prayer to know His will for me and for the power to carry it out.
On 10th October, 2001, Jesus called me out of death and I was born again.
Psalm 18:29 ESV For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall.
Psalm 91:11-12 ESV For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. 12 On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.
2 Corinthians 5:6-8 ESV So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, 7 for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8 Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.